My Grandma Jackson

My sweet, beautiful, almost perfect Grandma Jackson passed away on November 1st, and I have wanted so much to journal some of the many ways that she has been an influence in my life. I have been very overwhelmed by this task, and it seems very inadequate to dedicate just one chapter of journalling specifically to her when so much of who I am has a root (I hope) in the person that she was.
My Grandma never forgot a birthday of mine or of my children and as we celebrated Dolces birthday on November 3rd, just 2 days after she had passed, I really felt the emptiness and difference that not having her here would be.
She hadn't been feeling well for a couple of weeks when I went to see her on the 24th of October. She thought she had a bad flu bug that wouldn't go away. She had a persistent dry cough that she had had for about a month, and some shortness of breath. She also had nausea and couldn't keep food down. She had lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks. She wondered if I would mind taking her to her Doctors appointment when she could get it scheduled.(Because that very day my Grandpa was having a pacemaker placed.) So I called the Dr. and asked if he would be able to see her as soon as possible. She kept saying that she was so tired and just needed to get better.
The next morning, I picked her up for her appointment and thought that it might be more appropriate to take her to the ER because her shortness of breath seemed to have gotten worse. But she insisted that we go to her appointment with her Dr.
I was with her when the Dr. came in to tell her that she had Leukemia. This was so devastating and I didn't know how to comfort a person who had always been such a comforting influence for me. We were told that she needed to see an oncologist that day and so I got permission to transport her, with my Dad, in her own car to St. George. I called her children to tell them the news.
That evening, before leaving the hospital, My Grandma said the nicest, most sincere things to me. She told me that I was such a special, sweet girl, and that she loved me very much. I wonder if she somehow knew that these would be the last things she would say to me. I'm grateful that I had this day to spend with her where it was just her and me.
Two days later, her white blood cell count had risen so much that it was determined that she needed to be cared for at a specialty center and so she was flown to LDS hospital. The next time I was able to see her, her condition had deteriorated quite a bit.
As things progressively got worse, it came time to say good bye. I want to remember that I thought that she must have loved me most because she tried to talk to me and hug me while I was telling her good bye. (I think she had a way of making everyone believe they were her favorite.) Things happened so quickly with her Leukemia. She passed away exactly 1 week after her diagnosis.
I will always remember how kind my Grandma was, even in the hospital and throughout her end of life care, she remained patient and so kind. I'm so lucky to have known her. I'm looking forward to forever with her.

This picture is, I think, the last picture I have of my Grandma. It was taken at Baby Romes blessing bash on August 8, 2011. She loved babies and when I went to see her at LDS hospital I took Rome with me. When we first got there, she had just had a bone marrow biopsy done and she was in pain and upset. But when she saw Rome, a big smile came to her face and she said, "Hi Baby!" Back in August, at his blessing party, Rome had been awake for most of the day, but when she held him, he fell asleep and she held him for a long time. If I would have known that this would be the last family festivity where I would get to see her, I would have taken more pictures. I'll be cherishing this one.