David's New 'Do

On Friday morning, David gave me another chance to prove my awesomeness. This should be prefaced by another story. While Davy and I were dating, David was growing his hair out, when one night he was working on trimming it a little bit because it was totally sweet, yet out of control.(Yeah, that's right, I used the word "yet.") So, I offered to help. The more I helped, the worse his hair looked, not to mention, the shorter it got. The ordeal finally ended when David very nicely said, "Abby, you're a really nice person...but you can't cut hair." Hahaha. He really did say that. (I don't care what you say Love, you did say that to me and I married you anyway.)

So, fast forward four years later. To last Friday morning, when David and I were going to the temple. David was trimming his sideburns, likewise sweet, yet totally out of control. I was watching him as he started to trim the hair on his neck. It looked really hard because he couldn't really see what he was doing, and the job involved him bending his arm back in an awkward position with the buzzers.
So, I thought, "I could do that!" Now it's important to note that when red flags, and smoke bombs should have been going off in both of our heads because of adverse memories from the last time I made David fashionable...nothing happened. I thought to myself, "I've changed. I can do this now. Last time was a fluke."
WRONGO!!!! The same thing happened again. Except this time it was better because, I didn't realize that the buzzers were set at a ONE until they were halfway up the back of his head. (David still wants to know what the buzzers were doing halfway up the back of his head when I was only being allowed to trim his neck. I don't really have a good answer for that one other than those Buzzers are the spawn of Satan and they have a mind of their own. )
As soon as I saw what I had done, I had a mixture of thoughts. 1) hide every mirror in the house, he'll never know. 2) uh-oh. 3) laughing hysterically 4) trying to act repentant about the stripe of baldness up the back of his head...while laughing. Hard to do.
It did take him a while to find a mirror because I wasn't helping. When he saw my pride and joy, he said, "well, there's really no way to fix THAT is there?" (No "Good Job Honey, Give me Five, You're the best, Wow, you really have changed!") Followed by, "I guess I'm buzzing my head today."
So that's the story for why David's hair is shorter than his five o clock shadow right now. The moral of the story, is: remember everything your spouse has ever done wrong, and NEVER give them another chance. And if your spouse says things like "you're a really nice person but..... Don't get mad. Simmer and boil about it for four years, and then get even.
By the way. David you still owe me five bucks for the haircut. (As we always say, the worst part about a five dollar haircut is the 25 bucks it takes to fix it.)